Trying

Trying to keep it together.

Being down to single digits is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

6 free days left with James.

And part of me is screaming inside.....wanting this to stop. Just stop. Make it go away.

I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to go because I know then that it's so real. I know that there's no turning back.

In 8 days...

I can't call you. I can't hear your voice. I can't see your smile. I can't touch your face. I can't feel your kiss. I can't feel your body so close to mine. I can't hear your laugh. I can't ride with you in the car. I can't hear your terrible singing. I can't hold your hand. I can't tell you about my day. I can't ask you for advice. I can't lean on you. I can't laugh when you're so damn funny. So many things that I can't do with you.....

I want this so bad to be forever.
Please, please....come home in a year and be mine forever. God.