Christmas is 30 Days Away!

So, in the spirit of being thankful this holiday season, I thought I would make a list of things I am thankful for. *in no order of importance

• My family



• My friends



• My education



• My doggies (they always brighten my day)



• James



• Extended Family (My Aunt's and Uncles are pretty great. And I love my Gma)



• James' family (they have welcomed me with open arms)



• Every opportunity I have had this year to grow as a person



• Each person that has affected my life in some way

I know I've left things out. But I think that's the gist of it.

I've been at home in Ftown since Monday, and I go back to Cbus for school this afternoon. It's been a week of joys. Really, I don't think I've had such a good time on a break, during school. I don't even know if I remember what all I have done!

Monday - got home at about 3pm. Did laundry. Sat around and relaxed. Went out to dinner with James to celebrate our 4 months. Watched TV and fell asleep on the couch with my head in his lap. :-)

Tuesday - went to see Mrs. Fisher/Mr. Reed at the high school. Was awesome! Came home and did some homework. Got 2 papers done. Went to James' around 7ish and watched "I Now Pronoucne You Chuck and Larry" which was hilarious. Went to Alex's afterwards and caught up with a friend I hadn't seen in almost two months.

Wednesday - Didn't do much all day. Went to Denny's with Elyse, Jon, Lyndsey, Audra, Eric, Scooter, Courtney P, and Pam. It was a good time. Went to Pam's and watched Rent. And took Eric home like the good old times and got to talk. James went to Pittsburgh to see Avenue Q so I didn't see him wednesday.

Thursday - Thanksgiving with the family. James got here around 11 and he helped cook and all that good stuff. Had a good time. It seemed like he took well to my family. He left around 4 and then I sat around with my family and watched TV and stuff. I went to bed fairly early, thursday.

Friday - I spent most of the day writing my paper for theatre. It took me 5 hours to do. After that, I went and got my haircut (which it's too short and I don't like it - but it needed cut)...Went to Old Fort's pep band with James, Alex and Eric. That was a good time. Reminded me how much I miss playing. :-) Went to Denny's afterwards and then went to Courtney's and watched Aladdin.

Saturday - I woke up and headed over to James' around 12. Went to his grandparents across the road for a spaghetti lunch. Then we had to go back to their house and peel potatoes for mashed potatoes. My parents and Taylre came, too, for dinner, so they got to meet James' mom and step-dad. That was interesting. Everyone was gone by 7. Cleaned up, watched some TV......Spent some alone time with James and I was outta there by 10:30. Stopped at Alex's to give him his ethernet cord back and I got home by 11:15. Sweetness.

And here we are with today. I really don't want to drive back down to school today. I really just want to stay at home and keep seeing James on a regular basis. It's so nice to spend time with him. I love him lots.

Shall I provide you with Photos? (okay, just one. I don't like how blogger uploads photos)

And the countdown is: 41 days until he leaves for a year. :-(

Life

Do you ever look at your life and just say "Wow, I like how things are going" ? You know that there are some things you wish you could change, and you're stressed out about a lot of things....but at the same time...You've never been happier..

I know that there are some issues in my life....The lack of a job and the fact that my parents are going to sell my car in two months if I don't start making money....or the fact that my boyfriend is leaving in a month and a half to go to Iraq and he'll be gone for a year.....or the fact that it's almost the end of the semester and I have all these huge projects to do that I have put off for a very long time.....or the fact that I have lost touch with people who were my best friends over the summer.....and I've kept in contact with a few.....or maybe just that my friendship with Tyler is so awkward, lately, and it's hard.... and it sucks that over the next month and a half... I can't go home to see James, and he can't make it down here....so in all reality, I only have a month left with him (p.s. this makes me bawl)

But there are a lot of things to be happy about.... I realize each day how AWESOME my friends are here at Capital. Each friendship I have with all these people is so different and unique and awesomely hilarious and special and endearing to my heart. I LOVE PHI BETA! I love the my brothers and sisters of Phi Beta. I'm happy that I have friends from high school that I have kept in touch with forever....like Tyler Charles... I think he will always be one of my best friends, for the rest of my life. We've gotten through almost three years of college life and we are still friends (he was in college my senior year, and we stayed friends). And he still sleeps with that pillow I made for him, and I still have a picture of him framed, sitting on my dresser here.

I love my Mom and Dad, a lot. I really enjoy the fact that going away to college has helped me to become closer to them, and has helped me appreciate them. I fought a lot with my parents in high school....and now, the distance is saving our relationship. I'm not there at home to get yelled at for things I didn't do....and I don't get blamed when things go missing, or just the fact that they just like to yell at me sometimes. It's nice to be away from that....so that when I do spend time with them, it's just nice to be there with them and we don't yell at each other. Kinda like a honeymoon period.

And most of all... I'm thankful for James. And my heart beats a little faster when I think about him, and how much I love him. I would try and put into words how I feel....but I'm not sure that I can.... It's just that.....he is so....I don't know. He makes me want to be a better person, a better girlfriend, a better friend, a better daughter. He's taught me that loving someone isn't about saying it, it isn't about sex, it isn't about those things all the time. It's about baking cookies for you even when he said he didn't want to. It's about his attempts at surprising me and me ruining it. (I hate surprises...haha)....It's about him never rejecting me for a hug, or a kiss, or holding my hand. It's about him inviting me to all kinds of family events, and introducing me as his girlfriend. It's about him checking up on me....even though we're not glued to each other's sides, he's still there and he is still conscious of where I'm at and if I'm okay.... He drives to Columbus to see me..... He does things when I ask him to.... He calls me out on my bullshit.... And even after all my flaws (no, I know I'm a good person at the heart of it, but we all make mistakes)....and at the end of the day.. I know that even without him saying it, he loves me, a lot. And maybe, just maybe, feeling like all the crap I've gone through is worth it....because it led to James.

Some people don't understand why I am staying with him, even though he's going to be gone...Some people say "I could never do that...." And you know what? It's hard. And it sucks. But at the same time, he is worth waiting for. He means the world to me. I could be all gushy and say what I feel and think but I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say.... I'd be happy to have him around for a long, long time. And maybe I'm naive for saying that so soon, or whatever.....but you know....sometimes you just know. Through the next year....There's going to be rough days, I'm not going to kid myself at all....but you know... I'm a strong person. And I have REALLY awesome friends here that already know how hard it's going to be for me when it really, really hits me that he's not here and they are prepared to eat lots of ice cream, maybe do some drinking, and have tissues ready. And besides....every girl loves a man in uniform....and boy, that day when he comes home is going to be awesome. Talk about a flood of emotion....it's going to be crazy intense!

Moral of the story? My life really sucks, at face value....but I'm happier than ever. And I have friends, family and James to thank for that.

P.S. I am going to study abroad in fall of '08. Pretty sweet. Edinburgh, Scotland....Here I come!!